Grandma Girl Part 1

Okay.

I'm free this morning. Totally no exam, no class, nothing to do. (I'll study later. :D) So I thought I'd blog about our latest Grandma Girl episode.

OMG. Sarah, Felicia and I decided we should tell her about her um, to put it in the nicest way possible, DISGUSTING B.O.. So.... Here's what we did.

Okay before I type in the whole convo I thought I should just say, we have installed an air freshener in our house. You know, one of those that automatically spray every 9 minutes. So you KNOW how bad the smell is.

And EVERYTIME it sprays, Grandma Girl COUGHS. Loudly. Its annoying but most of all it makes me a little bit guilty. So, to bring up the conversation of her B.O., I used the air freshener as a conversation starter!

(air freshener sprays)

G.G: *COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH*

(i start the convo)

K: GG, are you allergic to the air freshener?

G.G.: Uh, no, I'm just sensitive to "heavy smells".

K: Oh. And you're sensitive to perfume?

G.G.: Yeah.

(this is when Sarah comes into the convo)

S: I've been meaning to tell you this..... But I scared you get angry...... But...... You.... Sometimes.... Have.... body odour.....

G.G.: *confused face* I don't understand what you're saying..

(Oh MY GOSH. WHAT IS THERE NOT TO UNDERSTAND?!?!)

S: (takes a deeeeep breath and try again) Welll..... You know how you go up and down the stairs right... When you're in the house,.... You.... SMELL.

G.G.: Oh. Uh. I know I sometimes have "heavy smell"... I sweat easily, even walk up and down the tangga also can sweat.. Like that lah.... *Laugh*

(OH GOD. SHE FINDS HER B.O. FREAKING AMUSING.)

(i cant really remember the convo much. It was SO LONG and basically involved Sarah trying to repeat millions of times, that she SMELLS. And me? Lying on the floor laughing with a blanket pulled over my head. :D)

S: (with a deodorant roll-on in her hand) You can try use this...

G.G.: What is that?

(At this point I was just totally speechless. HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW WHAT A DEODORANT IS???)

Wait. I think that explains alot doesn't it? Anywaysss,

S: Its deodorant.

G.G.: What is that? I don't understand.

K: If you use it then we won't have to use the air freshener.

G.G.: Oh, I don't normally like to use creams and lotion because I don't like the sticky feeling it gives my skin.

(Oh, my. Which is worse, having sticky skin, or suffocating everyone around you with your "HEAVY SMELL"????!!)

S: You can just try it and if you don't like it you can just throw it away.

G.G.: I think that is not good... *giggle giggle*

(OH MY GOSHHHHH. STOP GIGGLING!!!!!!)

(Sarah hands over the deodorant.)

(Grandma Girl opens the cover.)

G.G.: Oh! This thing ROLLS! *amazed voice*

S: Um. Yeah.

G.G.: How to use this?

(At this point Sarah looks at me for help but I was so busy laughing I didn't trust myself to speak. I mean, how the HECK do you give someone instructions on how to use DEODORANT?!)

S: You... uh.... Put it..... On your.... Underarms.

G.G.: Ohhhhhhhhh. *Again, amazed voice* But I think I don't want to use. I'm sensitive to "heavy smell". Like when Karen sprays the AirWick I also cough *smiles evilly*

Oh, please. As if Grandma Girl could EVER smile evilly. :P But WHAT THE-? If she uses deodorant then I wouldn't need to spray AirWick around the house every few seconds, now, would I?! :P

The conversation kind of just DIED there. Sarah just randomly told her that she hopes she wasn't angry. Something like that.

And after all that she STILL refuses to use the freaking deodorant. WHAT A WASTE of a new bottle of deodorant. D:

AAAAAARGH.

And. I'd like to add that Felicia was NO HELP at all in this whole thing. She was hiding downstairs because she didn't want to be here when we confront Grandma Girl. But thank God for Sarah who was calm enough to talk to her cos I was too busy killing myself laughing and wasn't very helpful. :D

HAHA!

xoxo karen

Grandma Pajamas.

Grandma Girl (thats my housemate, who dresses like a grandma) really pissed me off today. It was this morning when I just woke up, I was groggy and tired,and realised I forgot to put my clothes out from my washing machine to dry. And so I wanted to, except guess who hogged the WHOLE clothes line with her GRANDMA clothes?? And thats fine, except she WOULDN'T remove them so I could hang up MY clothes. -_-"

Yep.

You can understand why I'm pissed.

And now I want REVENGE!

So here it is.

I'm going to.....






TA-DAA!! Her pajamas for the world to see!! :D

I wonder if this is a little bit mean.....

NAAAAAAH. :) hehe.

I only wish I was smart enough to get a picture of her gladiator sandals. I didnt get a picture of them!! T.T and now they've mysteriously disappeared off the shoerack. Wonder if its because I kept insulting them and she somehow heard? hmm.

*guilty*

JUST KIDDING! :D

HAHA. And before you judge, I'd just like to say,

I'm not a bitch. I just have VERY low tolerance for bullshit.

Lets hope she removes her clothes off the clothesline next time I wanna hang up my stuff. (They can't be there together. Her clothes might infect mine.)

:)

xoxo karen

A Little Message for you.. :P

Today has been a crappy day. :( been feeling sickly all day! Headache just won't seem to disappear.. I hope I feel better tommorow.. why couldn't i pick tommorow to be sick, that way, I could have skipped Physics tutorial. :D I HATE PHYSICS! :( especially the tutorial teacher. Ahem. :P I have nothing very interesting to say today... oh, wait! I do! :D Lets see. I think Jovi and Kim were absolutely right, if Loser sees my blog, then obviously he would know that samson is my fake boyfriend. :D haha. I should've thought of that, but I forgot. So in case Loser reads this, here's a little message for him. :)

Hey, Loser, aka LSC, so i guess even your tiny little brain managed to put two and two together and you now know that Samson is my fake boyfriend. But you obviously didn't need to send him your best wishes, because i would NEVER want to destroy samson. I like him too much. Its only disgusting ugly worms like YOU that i take pleasure in stepping on and squishing until you are nothing but a pile of slime dirtying the bottom of my shoe. And don't say I'm being mean, I know I'M NOT. I tried being nice, didn't I but you decided to be evil, so now you can see how evil I can really be. I'm not afraid of you. For some weird reason you seem to think you're perfect, but trust me, YOU'RE NOT. And i am SO GLAD i destroyed you. :) It was really fun. :)

There we go. :) but because he's so stupid, i wonder if he can even read and understand what i just typed. :D haha

xoxo karen

Humiliating the LOSER.. :P

Whee! What an interesting day it has been. :) firstly, I've been crazy perky all day. I mean it. I go around with a very perky tone of voice, two pitches higher than my usual voice. and THEN, I say the most horribly perky things. example, "Oh, isn't it a LOVELY day today? the sun is shining in the sky!" and more horrible phrases like that. XD haha. The complete opposite of my usual evil self. XD lol. And that was what caused me to do something dumb. It started when Kim reminded me that it was somebady's birthday. That somebody happened to be a loser, who shall be known in this blog only as L. He LOVED me and was convinced I loved him back. Which is entirely untrue. :D haha. ANYWAY, being perky and somewhat crazy, I texted him. Here is our whole conversation. (censored in the appropriate places, of course. :D) lol.

Me: Happy birthday. :)

Loser: Thanks. But umm.. who's this?

Me: Karen.

Loser: Oh, this is the biggest farce of all. Hahaha. Oh, the irony. The karen who played me out, down in the ground for a guy who you knew I treated more than a friend? The same karen who's now spoilt her poor brother's wish to play football? N now this same karen is wishing me happy bday? :) hahaha. Seriously, who is this? :) anthony, is tha you?

Me: Haha.. It's karen. For real.

Loser: I see. Same karen who's devastated her bro's football hopes, huh?

(The whole time, I was honestly wishing him happy birthday with sincerity. I mean, tying up loose ends and all. But after that text, I thought, what the hell. If he's going to be evil, then so am I. I was sick of him at that point, anyway. And kim and jovi encouraged me and supported me! So HERE'S what I said next........ ;) )

Me: Yeap, the one and only! :) oh it makes me so very happy to destroy and crush other peoples' dreams. :) i love myself, honestly. :)

Loser: N why am i not surprised? So, is this bday wish supposed to be another characteristic scheme of yours?

(and this is when samson comes in. He's my bestest guy friend in the whole world. :) yes samson, its true. You're probably reading this. XD lol. Anyway, i thought samson could be my pretend boyfriend. Just to piss off the loser. XD hahaha. Kim and jovi and samson thought it was a good idea. :D I'm done being nice. )

Me:oh no, i didnt wana wish you happy bday. but then my super tall, handsome and sweet boyfriend told me i shd text n wish happy bday to the people i once destroyed. :D hahaha. so yeah, thats why i texted. No scheme thr. just pure goodness of my boyfriend's heart. haha.

Loser: Oh great. u found another good guy to destroy. Since you sent me two pleasant words in happy bday, i'll reciprocate. Thank u. :) now f**k off, self gratifying disillusioned oversized slut. N give your boyfriend my best wishes. He'll need them.

And that's when i stopped replying. Instead, Samson, my fake boyfriend replied instead. IT WAS AMAZING! samson, you're BRILLIANT. i never thought i'd say it, but its true. :) LOVE YA! XD

Samson, my "boyfriend": I don't need your best wishes, you cunt. I love my gf, and i cnt believe she ever chose a loser like you. Lucky she has better taste now. Now go wank your peanut, you panzy. If i see another mean msg, i'll shank you.

AND THE LOSER DIDNT REPLY! omg samson was so funny. And i thought he was a nice guy. Thank you, samson. :) you made my day. :)

Like I said, interesting day. :)

xoxo karen