Relationships are hard.

All over social media you see pictures of engagements and vacations and selfies of couples smiling like they haven't a care on the world but what you don't see is the arguments and the silent treatment and the occasional shouting lol.

It's just so hard. I've narrowed it down to a basic chain that goes pretty much like this - the first few months is all smooth sailing and butterflies and finding out about the other person. And then you reach the comfortable stage where you're all content but after the 6th month or so shit starts to t real.

It's like your eyes get opened to the ugly side of relationships; the jealousy and the distrust. The stupidest smallest things can be a cause for a fight and it doesn't end as easily as it used to. Initially someone would give in but the longer you get into a relationship the more you take someone else for granted and its easy to be like " why should I be the one to apologise "

I wish it could be easier, like I know I can be stubborn and I know it's probably not easy at all to be with me. But I've changed. I wish you could see that. :(

i dont like thinking about the future.

making plans and anticipating and trying to make everything happen.

i like keeping my expectations low so whatever happens wont affect me in a negative way.

but with you i dont shy away; not from confrontation, from telling you what i feel, from making spontaneous plans and not so spontaneous ones.

With you i dont mind planning and imagining what my future is going to be like.

although , really, that scares me to no end. 

In french, you don't say "I miss you"
Instead you say "tu me manques"
Which means
"you are missing from me".

Which you are. All the time. :*

hello again

Yes after three years.

For you, who inspired me to start writing again.