I just want someone who will take care of me. Stand up for me. Protect me.

Without question.

No matter what.

FINALS ARE TOMORROW!!

and here i am, unable to tear myself away from my laptop. I'm just so tired and i keep assuring myself that i've studied since day 1 of coming to this godforsaken place, so i should be ready by now. :| My room is a horrible mess, books and clothes EVERYWHERE, i'm not even exaggerating.

PLEASE LET THIS WEEK FLY BY AND BE OKAY AND PLEASE LET ME NOT CRY IN ANY OF THE VIVAS IN THIS EXAM. :(
(yes, i cried before. once. :P)

ANYHOO, I'm going home on the 21st of july! :) oh joy. I can't wait to see my puppies again, ahhh ♥ and yes i shall miss crunchy and the capsicum, but i'll think about that when i have to. ;) oh and i'm also pleasantly surprised that the capsicum actually LIKED crunchy! :) (then again, crunchy is so super adorable, who wouldn't like her? ;)

ok time to study again so i don't regret it tomorrow :| ARGHHH!

hello june.

Taken AGES ago. I miss my friends.  

Gosh I'm having a bad case of homesickness. :(

Its ironic and a little bit sad that when I was mm 14? 15? I used to say I CANNOT WAIT to leave home and live somewhere else and be able to do whatever I want. And now with all the freedom, with the ability to finally make my own decisions and live with the consequences, ALL I REALLY WANT is to be home lying on the carpet next to my Brownie. :(

I'm tired. I miss the view of the beach and the smell of the ocean along the stretch of road on the way home.

Only 2 months (i think?) more. I HAVE TO BE STRONG. ♥

in the meantime I have to believe that everything is going to work out, because it always does, and if it doesn't, then well, it isn't the end of  the world. :)

remember this?

Twin vodkas. I still have mine. ♥ ;)

challenge, day 2

Dear sibling.

We have fun together. :) You can be seriously moody at times, yet silly and babyish at others. I still see you as my baby brother, and although we don't really talk much these days (what with me being so busy in med school and you with your own stuff, haha) I love the fat that everytime I come home we can go out for movies and shopping and sometimes randomly just go for McD when we feel bored of staying home (driving license. Power. :P)

I just want you to know that I know you're going through what seems like a lot right now (being 16 is hard, trust me, I remember) but I hope you know that I'm always gonna be here if you need me.

I miss you, baby brother. See you in 3 months or so. ♥

YES i changed my blog address.

I'm hiding. :P

current picture! No makeup, no photoshop, just me. ;) havent posted one in AGES, i know. finally my internet is behaving :P Hmm. Looking at it I feel like I kinda regret rebonding my hair. Its all smooth and shiny but looks flat. :( I know somebody is gonna laugh and say I TOLD YOU SO when he reads this :P

SO! updates. few weeks to prelims and 3 extra weeks after that to finals. But thats depressing and I won't elaborate on it. :P

Haven't exercised in ages. I don't know if I've become fatter but at the moment I'm too busy to care.. Work is piling up, I constantly have to study because I'm terrified of failing. Maybe I'll make up for it and exercise extra when I finally have the time.

So I moved into a single room a few weeks ago. It's been great, I decorated it and now I really feel at home here. Pictures on the walls, collages, that kinda thing. I spend most of my time in my room so I figured I might as well make it really homey.

I've become a loner since I got my room. I have always been a people person, really, but lately I just like being alone and stuff. I like the silence, it gives me time to think. I get bored sometimes, and I complain like crazy to my boyfriend, but lately I seem to be settling into this weird kinda.. routine. I LIKE being alone. I don't mind. if I'm bored I sleep or watch HIMYM. :P

On a different note.. I miss home. I miss my dogs and to a lesser extent, my turtles. :P I miss Malaysian food. I can cook but it isn't the same.

Few more months to tahan! >.<

xoxo karen

(Saw this challenge on someone's blog and thought it looked interesting.. haven't written in a long time so I'll do it. Total honesty.)

dear parents,

let me start by saying, it isn't easy being your child. Growing up, I think I achieved too much too soon and you took it as a sign that i can achieve a lot if I set my mind to it. And that made you hard on me. You were strict and didn't expect me to be any less than perfect. I worked so hard because I was trained that that was the only acceptable thing for me to do.

despite all that i want to thank you. For pushing me and not allowing me to be lazy (oh yes, I can be if i want to) thank you for accepting my decision on what I want to be when i grow up. Thank you for the many many piano lessons and swimming lessons and all the priveleges I had growing up. You taught me to be confident and to stand up for myself. And I really appreciate that.

sometimes I felt like you could have been kinder to me, you could have tried at least to see my point of view before saying no or deciding that i was wrong. Sometimes i wish you'd put yourself in my shoes and try to understand how I feel. But then again, we're flawed humans and i accept you despite all that.

mum and dad, you've been wonderful amazing parents and i am not the perfect child. I've been a monster, I've been rebellious and inconsiderate (remember my phases of rebellion? Lol) and still you both love me and have given me everything I could ever want.

Our relationship is maybe a complicated one because you know I'm stubborn and tend to disobey, but still I want to thank you for everything. Dad, thanks for being the first man ever to call me beautiful. And mum, thanks for inspiring me to want to be a doctor. Love you both.

Sincerely, your daughter.

I no longer believe in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I am beginning to believe that a very few times in your life, if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because he was perfect, or because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together.


♥

yawn.

today is one of the most beautiful days in the calendar ;)

Happy Easter! <3

To know that Christ triumphed over death and came back to life.. to know that He took away my sin and opened the gates of heaven by what He did.. fills me with this warm fuzzy feeling inside. ;) it is not easy even to die for a good man, but He died for a world full of lost people. And everytime i sin I'm guilty of adding on to His burden. Time to be a better Christian. ;)

On a totally unrelated note, its 2.45 am and I have no idea why I'm even awake. I'd try to go back to sleep but the kiasu side of me is forcing me to study.. 2 months to prelims :o

its so hot these days I'm convinced I'm going to just melt one of these days. So if one day I disappear and you can't find me, you know why. :p I have 30 mins before I have to get to class (oh joy) and I'm sick of studying so I decided to brighten up your day with a meaningless blog post. :D

Countdown: 3 months to finals, 2 months to prelims, and 1 day to my birthday. Yay me! :D

Random facts.
I may get to move to a single room soon!
Cindy got a new bao bei (an air cooler) making me wonder why i didn't get one too.
We here in belgaum constantly get visitors (last weekend alone we got people from dharwad and kolar) but we don't seem to be able to get off our lazy butts and visit anyone. Or maybe its just me. Teehee
I'd like a puppy. Preferably a poodle or a Pug.
My hair is growing long!
I'm craving for dim sum and noodles and pretty much anything Chinese.
Waiting for a package from home due to arrive soon! <3
Missing my walnut and brownie.
It annoys me that there are loads of good movies coming out soon and I'm not home to watch them all. :( thank god we at least have a cinema here. Yayyy.

Okay abrupt end. :)

XOXO.

Live the life you wish to, date the man you wish to date and stop looking to your family for affirmation for the choices that you make. Life is full of risks. You can't live your life in fear of how people judge you for following your dreams.
<3

Because there is nothing more beautiful than the way the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shoreline no matter how many times it's sent away.

My last day in KK. Flight to KL tomorrow is at 7 something am, meaning airport at 5 something omg. I think I'll sleep all the way to KL haha. Then look like a zombie.

Been here for almost 3 weeks, how time flies. All I did was eat, sleep, go out. Repeat process. Sometimes skip the third part. 

It was really good to be home. No place in the world could ever replace my hometown, I love it so much ♥

Going back means having to study again and stress again and no more yummy food.. oh yes, I gained weight I think. I feel fatter. TIME TO DIET AND EXERCISE WHEN I GET BACK, PROMISE. :)

Alright abrupt end. :P

Finally got my laptop back after a couple of days without it.. :) the screen rosak totally out of nowhere.. it was just weird. Thank God I got it back before I have to leave again.. cos I can't do without it :p I think I'm addicted.

Ironically when I finally get back my laptop I don't seem to need it for skype. :P lol. God has a sense of humor.