Oh, yeah. I got a new baby. And I named her Bubble! :) She's so hyper, its hard to get a clear shot of her. But Sasa and I finally managed! :)

xoxo karen

Another Reason why I Hate KL

I bought these babies in KK for a mere RM30! (was totally in a good mood after that cause they're so adorable and SO FREAKING CHEAP! (: )

And then a week later in KL I see the EXACT SAME PAIR.

It was RM80.

O_o

xoxo karen

My new housemate moved in today!

She's Chinese, from Kelantan, and super nice. :) Dentistry like Sasa, India bound like all three of us. So freaking many Chinese juniors this year compared to last year. I like. (: The girls that moved in next to and opposite my house are all Chinese girls too.

AND, thank God, my new junior likes hamsters!

Actually today makes me remember how it was like when I first entered KTT. Cried like a.. well, crybaby. :P And was super mean about my housemates. Don't believe? Check this out.

And here I say (not for the first time) I'm sorry I called you a walrus, Felicia. :P I was mean and evil and I apologise. *repents*

Fast forward back to today:

Went downstairs. Walked around aimlessly. Roommate insisted I was scouting. SO WAS NOT! Boys are retarded. :P (HAHA just sounded like an 8 year old) but yeah.

But oh, just for the record? No cute guys around anyway. :P HAHAHA.

Oh and also? On a totally random note? ARGENTINA WON 3-1 BABY! :D Damn, I love my Messi. :)

AND ALSO JEREMY GOT ME THE MESSI POSTER I'VE BEEN LUSTING OVER SO I'M GONNA BE SUPER NICE TO HIM AND PUT UP WITH HIS TORTURE TO GET MY HANDS ON THAT POSTER!

Finally, after years of procrastinating, I finally watched Sweeney Todd. It was freaking awesome! :) And I could even eat while watching, which proves that I obviously am not easily disgusted. :P Johnny Depp is oh-so-sexy even when cutting peoples' throats. :P

Am in a good mood!

xoxo karen

Went shopping yesterday! :) At Alamanda with the girls, its the closest to KTT and we needed to take picture for IELTS so we took the chance to go shopping, hehe. :)

Girls will be girls. ;) ♥

Hung out with Amy and Shana, I had more fun than I've had in like.. forever. ;p

Okay. I promise. I SHALL NEVER AGAIN DITCH MY FRIENDS FOR A STUPID RETARDED GUY WHO DOESN'T EVEN DESERVE IT.

:)

Super funny, I have no idea why Amy was so crazy yesterday. (OK fine she's always crazy kan hehe) She knocked hard into a pole at the bottom of the escalator and as though that wasn't embarrassing enough, the escalator STOPPED MOVING and we had to walk all the way up (practically killing ourselves laughing. :P)

And then in the supermarket, she spotted a carton of yogurt that was cheap, and she was so excited, she put it in someone else's trolley LOL. :P

Thats just a few examples okay, there were more throughout the evening. :P

And we went shoe shopping! I finally got a new pair of sneakers from Nose. Am super happy cause the sneakers were kinda cheap and I'm such a shoe addict, I LOOOOVE. :D Amy got a new bag cause I swear that girl is a bag addict.

I had forgotten how awesome it feels to hang out with the girls. It was awesome although we did act like guys. (discussed football alot, mainly about how handsome the players are ;P) I love shopping with them and like exclaiming and squealing over cute shoes and cute bags and cute guys. :P I am a total girly girl at heart, nobody would ever accuse me of being a tomboy.

I totally wanna go out with them more often.

I love you girls. :) xoxo ♥

karen

HELLOOO, junior.

OMG.

Two nights ago.. At around 12am.. I was like so innocently curled up under my blanket (it was super cold) and about to go to sleep. Have to wake up early the next day for a math test. And then I noticed as I looked out of my room..

3 lecturers. Standing there. And two of them are super duper garang some more. :P

LIKE OMG. Heart attack, much?

I went outside la, shivering and all cause I was only wearing shorts (and it was still cold) and Sasa and Felicia and I just stood there as they walked around checking stuff out.

And then they started scolding us.

Because apparently the house is messy. -__- AND told us,

A JUNIOR IS MOVING IN!

Sighs. And my ex-math lecturer starting scolding me cause the house is dirty and she wouldn't believe Sasa who told her the roof is leaking. -__-

GRR.

We rearranged the house that same night, cleaned it all up, and I had to give up one of my tables (I was hogging two, one for me and one for my fish ;p) So freaking many ants. ARGH I hate this.

Oh but thank God they didn't marah about my hamsters. ;P HEHE.

Oh and I couldn't sleep til almost 2 am.

Oh and I think I totally flunked my math test the next day cause I was too sleepy. :P

xoxo ren

Got my schedule yesterday.

I am now ALU 8! ;D hahaha am finally a senior.

However.

My schedule sucks. I am gonna be like crazy busy cause Physics and Biology get 2 extra hours each. Like OMG I wanna cry when I see my schedule. I'll hardly have time to breathe this sem. AND A2 is gonna kill me slowly and painfully. :P

But thats the price you pay for a JPA scholarship. :P

byes!

xoxo karen

BACK AT KTT!

I just got here, and already I wanna go home. :x

xoxo karen

Home tomorrow. :(

Packing makes me cranky.

EXTREMELY CRANKY. So cranky that every tiny little thing makes me mad.

And something just made me burst. Okay, you. Seriously, do you EVER get any original ideas? you know, any ideas that actually come from INSIDE YOUR HEAD? Or do you just leach off other people? you're such a loser. Seriously, you're so pathetic I feel sorry for you. I'm not scared of you. READ THIS and confront me if you want to, bring it ON.

Anyways.

It felt better to get that all out of my system. (: I just.... don't like it when people act like.. well, retards.

So. I'm packing.

I guess I couldn't concentrate today. Cause I was driving, and then I HIT ANOTHER CAR. Congratulations, my first crash, guess it had to happen sometime. :P

I'm so sad la. I don't wanna go back tomorrow. I DON'T WANT. I don't wanna go back to the jungle....

Sighs.

I've decided I hate KL. -___-

People in Sabah are nicer! They speak coherent Malay! AND THEY SAY SORRY WHEN THEY BUMP INTO YOU! ;p AND they are not annoying bimbos who annoy the hell outta you!

Guess I didn't totally get it outta my system. Ah, well. I guess I officially kinda hate her. :P

OOPS! Did I say "her"? HAHA my bad.

xoxo karen

Pinky! :)

I woke up at 6 am today. Freakishly early!

All in the name of charity. (:

Pink ribbons- the international symbol of breast cancer awareness. (:

Seriously I couldn't even think of a worthier cause to support. But thats just my opinion. (: I support this because.. well, I'm doing it in a way for my darling mum who was diagnosed a couple of years ago.

And here she is now, healthy and strong as ever thanks to early detection. (:

I ♥ her.

So basically what I did today was attempt to sell stuff to raise money for organisations in Sabah to carry out more projects to raise awareness of breast cancer. And also for the society who organised this, its sorta a fundraiser. And together with other volunteers we kinda went around pinning on pink ribbons to unsuspecting people, to show support for breast cancer patients. :D

Like THIS. ;P

Pretty right? :) Even the charity organisation I choose to support has to be pink. :P Shows what a pink-freak I am, haha.

Some stuff a whole group of other people were selling. Totally cool island tribal type stuff handmade by the Filipino people selling them. (: SO GORGEOUS! I got a pretty pink bracelet from this one kinda hot, super buff Filipino island-guy. *wink* The bracelet I'm wearing in the previous pic. ;)

And finally, a group photo of the amazing beautiful women, all of whom have gone through cancer and survived, or have had people they love go through it. How I admire them all. (:

I'm dead tired but feel kinda good about myself. ;)

xoxo karen

I was just going through an external hard drive to search for some stuffs and I found my super old pictures, as in high school old and it totally brought back memories. (:

As much as I used to complain about high school, its true that I now miss it so much. I miss the friendships! We're all older now, we occasionally meet up and stuff, but still I miss everyone being together in class, trips together, etc etc.

Let me just go through and pick one.....

Aha.

I miss these guys. :D

Looking at pictures like this make me want to laugh and want to cry in equal measures. I miss them so much! Well maybe not la. I miss the BOND, the innocence, the times when we could just have fun and not think about anything EXCEPT having fun. (:

I miss that all so much.

High school wasn't so bad, really. :)

xoxo karen

Things I did today.

Woke up early, Samson picked me up, went for breakfast. Alot more perverted than he used to be. (sorry honey, I just couldn't resist, hehe. :D) But he's great company and I love him as much as always. (:

Went to Suria where we wandered around aimlessly for like, forever, and then watched Toy Story 3! Okay so initially I wasn't planning on watching it cause it seemed so.. childish? Then I realised its in 3D and KK FINALLY has a 3D cinema so it was like, okay, I'll just watch it and see how it goes.

And IT WAS AWESOME! Like OMG best cartoon in forever. Freaking adorable! i could just go on and on and on.

Oh but the uncool thing about 3D glasses if you already have glasses (like samson and I both) is that you wear TWO glasses. Which just looks retarded. :P

And then i went umm.. boat-rowing. Where I managed to cut myself and get salt water all over it and OMG it still stings. :(

But I did cam-whore alot. :P

I'm always gonna be a daddy's girl. (:

And oh my retarded brother is now SO MUCH TALLER than me. :P

Went home and watched the Argentina-Korea match. YAAAAY 4-1! :D Screamed at the TV excitedly. Drooled at Messi omg I don't care if he didn't score, he's still the hottest player in the WORLD and omg I loooove him. Oh yeah. He's even Catholic which officially makes him the perfect male specimen. :)

And I also realised the other Argentine footballers are seriously not half bad-looking. Except Tevez who looks somewhat like a caveman. But anyways. The rest are cuuute! And even their NAMES are cute like the goalkeeper Romero (OMG that sounds so... sexy. :P)

I kept nudging my dad and saying things like "OMG daddy he's SOOOO hot!" :P

And then we went out to eat after the match cos all I ate today was breakfast at 10 and half a bag of popcorn while watching movie in the morning. :P

Stingray! Been craving this since forever.

And my favourite dumplings. In KL I've been searching everywhere but NONE are as good as the ones in Sabah *wink*

And that was my Thursday. Few more days and I'm going back to prison. :( I hate KL now that I'm home.

Am off to bed. Have to wake up early tomorrow for my hospital appointment! sighs.

xoxo karen

I've been putting off doing something for a very very long time.

In my mind.. Its the ultimate form of living in denial. If you don't get rid of something, you can pretend its still there. If you don't think too much about something, then it would be as if it didn't happen.

Right?

I've been sitting here thinking all evening, trying to sum up enough courage to do what I think I should have done ages ago but didn't because I was holding on to the tiniest shred of hope, that things might just turn out the way I wish it would. But maybe I shouldn't be waiting anymore.

Maybe once and for all, I should just move on.

So this marks it exactly, my decision to seriously get rid of everything that still haunts me, all the memories in all forms, everything. The things that used to make me smile, used to make me feel so happy. Now it all just hurts. And it will continue to hurt for God knows how long more to come. But I won't wait anymore for something that I wish with all my heart but will never truly happen.

I'm guess I'm just tired and done waiting.

So if you're reading this, know that I've never done this before and never before have I lowered myself to such an extent that I type things like this for the world to read. Normally thoughts like this get safely locked inside my head. But I guess there's a first time for everything.

Call it what you will, but I guess you bring out the very best and very worst in me, all at the same time.

Bye.

xoxo

“ Love and relationships are never like the movies no matter how much we want them to be. But when something beautiful ends, for whatever reason, it’s most important not to be disappointed that it’s over, but glad that it happened at all.

sabah day3

Its been a long day. :P

Watched the Karate Kid last night! OMG jaden smith is so cute ;D And the movie.. wasn't half bad really. (: Bumped into Samson at the cinema. As handsome and huggable as always. :D hehe. Aww I can practically see you smiling as you read this. :P

Anyways. Its day 3 of being home and how I wish so badly that days spent in Sabah are 48 hours each rather than 24. Yeah thats how much I adore being home. (: Kinda wish that I can stay longer, and all. Its not like I'm doing anything anyone would call interesting, exactly, but personally for me spending as much time with my family as possible makes me happy. (: Like all I did all evening was cook (that constitutes alot of yelling and making fun of my mum, lol) and bumming in front of the TV with my daddy, yelling at footballers on TV. (you know that lame tired old joke about how the footballers on tv can't hear you yelling? Yeah well my dad and I don't seem to care. :P)

And playing with my pets! Even the turtles (they're so neglected, I feel bad. :S)

I've had this one since form 1, isn't he adorable. :D

Anyways. Am meeting Shana for shopping tomorrow. ;)

Although horrible as it sounds, the sad truth is, Sabah shopping malls feel SO BORING after you've been walking around in KL ones for so long. :P *sighs. But still I love my hometown. :D All the people I love are HERE and I really wish I don't have to leave. :(

I'm such a baby. :P

xoxo rusty

p/s I still look through my old phone once in a while. :P

It was probably around 4am when I finally fell asleep last night. :P

Months on a super hard bed with a super think mattress makes you forget what a comfortable bed feels like. I lay in bed literally unable to get comfortable. It was too quiet. :P

And then I woke up at 8 something this morning. Sent my brother to church of all things. Had breakfast with him first, laughed like hell at his stupid jokes, but honestly I kinda can't believe my brother is now so......... mature. :P Hell no, I don't mean mature as in he's MATURE, I mean he looks mature. :P He doesn't look like the little brother used top fight with and yell at, he looks.. Like a GUY. A Nike-shirt-Quiksilver jeans-Guess watch-Converse-shoes-wearing GUY. Oh goodness. Dare I say this? MY BROTHER ACTUALLY LOOKS HANDSOME. O_o OMG I never thought it'd be possible. To me he'll always be the obnoxious little boy who threw one of my Barbie dolls on the roof. :P

xoxo rusty

SABAH BAH! :)

There's nothing quite as nice as knowing you're finally home. (:

I was on the plane, window seat, my fave, and then I was looking out of the window when the pilot announced that we were gonna land. And OMG it surprised me, there were like, millions of stars. MILLIONS, I'm not exaggerating, I promise. It was.... so freaking beautiful it made me want to cry. :') And the plane was pretty much on level with the stars, or so it seems. (: So pretty!

Anyways.

I'm in my own pink room again, but everything feels just a little bit foreign, like my room doesn't smell like me. My comforter DEFINITELY doesn't smell like me. Even my clothes (from my closet, not my suitcase obviously) feel like they belong to someone else.

And worst of all my room is overrun with my brother's stuff. -.-

But still, I'm so happy to be home. :)

xoxo karen

p/s I miss him a little bit today.

Gerbils XD

I'm missing the babies already. ♥

5 reasons to be happy today

1. AS IS OFFICIALLY OVER! As of yesterday. Was too busy enjoying my life to blog. ;p

2. JAKE GYLLENHAAL is seriously....... the sexiest man I HAVE EVER SEEN. ;p Prince Of Persia is just........ OHMYGOD *drools all over laptop*

bwahahaha XD I was kidding, I swear. Didn't drool. :P

I mean, OMG. LOOK AT HIM! So freaking sexy I'm drooling at his pictures on Google, HAHA.

3. WORLD CUP just started! Oh I can't wait to see Messi in action. *wink* Watched the World Cup opening on TV. It was... cool. (:

4. Went shopping today for FIVE WHOLE HOURS but didn't buy a single thing. My mum's right, miracles apparently do happen. :P

5. GOING HOME TOMORROW. GOING HOME TOMORROW. GOING HOME TOMORROW.

*huge grin* :)

xoxo rusty

p/s happy holidays everyone! typing the name of as many friends I can think of right now- shana, sarah, amy, qiqi, all my darling classmates, (we're gonna be seniors after holidays, haha ;P), joeffrey, eric, maegyver, ricky, willy, nader, mark, melzie, ling, sean, clarissa, eshabell, carol, and of course my roomie felicia. (: (you're so gonna miss me when I go back tomorrow, hehe ;p) and thats all the people I could think of, I'm watching gossip girl right now and can't concentrate.

ANYWAYS.

Going home tomorrow! :)

OHMYGOD!!!!!!

I just realised!!!

It's been a whole YEAR since I first started blogging. (: I started 4th June last year so like.. I'm a couple of days late. -.- Blame AS, its killing my pretty pink brain cells. ARGH.

YAAAAAY tomorrow last paper!

I wanna type more but my nosy roommate is reading over my shoulder, its soooooo uncomfortable. :(

GO AWAY, YOU. YES, YOU. I MEAN YOU, FELICIA.

She's gone, thank God. P/S I'm using her laptop, heh paiseh. :P

ANYWAYS. Happy birthday to me! :D HEHE. Blogging has been so therapeutic, I dunno how I would have survived a whole year without venting on it. *winks*

And thank you, anyone reading this. This blog is kinda silly at times, just random thoughts in my head and I sometimes wonder why people even bother reading but those who do, I like you and you're my friend. :D HUGS!

Oh no she's back. BYE NOW! :)

xoxo karen

I'm NOT GONNA SWEAR, but......

Oh fk physics. :(

P/S it was hard. :( Oh, dear God, I hope I don't have to re-sit the paper.

xoxo karen

Countdown: 3 more freaking days!

Til I go home. (:

OHMYGOD! things to do when I'm back (top of my head, I'm typing as I think)

Eat dumplings. I have NOT found a single shop in KL that makes them as yummy as back home. :P And noodles. The pork ones I can't find here. :P And oh..... Go to grandma's house and insist that she cooks for me. (:

Play with the dogs puas2. :P I've been missing them so much! I wanna bathe them and take them for runs and just cuddle Brownie in front of the TV. :D

Sleep in my own bed. Much as I love my bed here in KTT, the truth is...... I still love my own bed. ;)

Drive around just cause I GOT MY LICENSE AND I CAN. :D hee. Okay, that was childish.

Meet Samson for bak kut teh and movie marathon and just to hang out. Damn, I miss you giant. :) I'll even sit in your car! Even when you drive super fast and made me yell like a crazy person. The last time I was home. Remember? ;p

Gossip with my mum. Haven't done that in forever, I miss her.

Beg my dad to bring me for badminton. He used to refuse cause he says I can't play. :(

This time I plan on spending more time with my family. As in the last time I was back, I'm ashamed to admit this, I went out practically every day and didn't really stay home. This time I plan on like staying home most of the time and doing all the mundane everyday things I used to do. Like just lying around, chattering away to my parents. Its funny how they never ask me shut up although I sound like a 5 year old. Shows how much they love me. (:

There really isn't any feeling more....... amazing than knowing that you're about to go HOME. (: I miss the sunsets, the beautiful islands, the view of Mount K in the morning. I miss everything about Sabah, really. I miss listening to Sabahan malay, its so.. cute. ;)

xoxo rustyy

p/s physics tomorrow. Fingers crossed it goes well. ;)

You're all by yourself ... and all messed up.

Just saw something that half annoyed me, and half made me realise I was so right.

Old habits die hard; people will never change. Look in the mirror, can you look yourself in the eye and can you honestly say you're proud of who you are and what you've become?

On the other hand.... I'm up late. Still doing Chemistry. Refuse to give up. RAWR.

xoxo rusty

There's no feeling QUITE as satisfying as whacking that shuttlecock so hard your arm hurts and laughing like hell when it hits your opponent in a funny place. (HAHA :D)

And then yelling when she whacks it right back and it lands smack in the middle of your forehead. D:

Felicia, you're mean. :(

xoxo rusty

And P/S, there's no such thing as a 5 second rule- I MADE IT UP. :D HAH!

I'm happier now. (: Okay, maybe "happy" is an overstatement, but at least I'm not silent and suddenly crying out of nowhere, right, roomie? :P

I guess I really just needed closure.

Thank you, you. (:

xoxo karen

P/S Only a week more Samson! ;)

Physics practical...

I guess it was okay. Nothing special as in didn't break anything, didn't go crazy, didn't screw up. :P So...... I hope I get A. :D :D :D

I feel so tired. Period cramps today so bad I can barely move yet forced myself to go down for badminton because I feel fat and my self-esteem is not so high at the moment. :P

OH YEAH. Now, I know I made a mess with 'him' last year and everything, but......... I'm kinda happy he still checks up on me once in awhile like he asks me how my papers go and stuff. I mean I don't know what exactly his intention is, I find it weird at times, but still I think it feels nice that at least someone seems to care.

Actually I've been feeling kinda loser-ly this week. It hasn't even been a week since it happened but it feels like forever and I don't mean in a good way. I mean like.... when I'm busy I think less, when I tire myself out then I can fall asleep at night the moment my head hits the pillow, but on the nights I can't sleep I tend to once again think about him. I'm not over it, I'm not over him, I'm not over everything that happened. I'm trying to forget by telling myself I'll get over it eventually, I always do, but still it doesn't really distract from the fact that RIGHT NOW I just can't seem to forget.

I mean we all say we're okay and to an extent I suppose I am, but still. It takes time.

Are you reading this? I wonder if you still do.

xoxo