inmyhead

You can tell alot about someone by their blog. Agree? I certainly think so. Anyone who wants to know the surface of me, all they have to do is look through here and I guarantee they'll find useful information. :P The same way I blogwalk through acquaintances' blogs once in awhile. You call it stalking, I call it finding information. :)

Anyways.

I realise I never really put personal feelings on this blog. Its like, I know people see this, I can't believe it, but yes they do (as I've heard) so obviously I don't put anything truly personal in here. which is sorta ironic cause like DUH this is supposed to be a journal of sorts. :P and yet its around for the world to see.. HAH. But just for today, let me try to write as though I'm writing in a private journal. Without worrying that my post will hurt/offend/piss off someone.

What am I feeling today? Hmm.

Homesick. Oh yes homesick, it never goes away, rather it gets worse over time. I miss my hometown every day, I don't know how people migrate and all. :P I mean how can you leave Kota Kinabalu for good?? Its the most beautiful place I know! :) Sabahan and prouddd. ♥

I miss people. Tatianna Chiang, I miss you, if you're reading this. And I can't wait to see you end of this year. :) I miss you, Samson Yap, although we haven't talked in forever, I bet it won't be awkward when we do talk. (It never is.) Queenie Ong. Isaac Pang ( I wish I had more time to know you.) Many many others who I didn't really get to know cause I left IS so fast. Oh yes and my family. And most of all my dogs.

I am worried. I wonder what to do with Pinkie and the Brain when I leave KTT. And Peanut and Bubble. (Bubble got a new nickname but its obscene so I won't say it here. Sasa and I gave her the name so you can imagine. :P) I don't know what to do! Anyone from KL reading this? You want the hamsters? I give you la. :P Or if not, tell me what to freaking do with them! I can't just leave them here to die. :(

I am worried. About the A2 exams LOOOOMING. Like a horrible cicak in the dark waiting to pounce when you least expect it. O_o God, I have to stop being such a drama queen, lol.

I am worried. About how to bring back to Sabah the 13 pairs of shoes I have here in KL alone. :P

I wanna go to Manukan and lie there and let my worries disappear. :)

Actually, I feel peace. :) I haven't felt it in awhile. Its new. Yeah there have been periods of time when I was peaceful but everytime he contacts me, BOOM, the peace shatters. This time, however, he can email all he likes but I don't feel a single thing. :) So yeah, this involves the guy again (I don't know if you're reading this but I've decided, it doesn't matter even if you do, cause perhaps this really is the last post that ever acknowledges you.) and for the first time in a long time, thinking about him evokes NO feelings whatsoever. No horrible sinking feeling in my stomach. No anger or hatred even, LOL. Cause last week I just found out how it so was not worth it. (If only I knew earlier, what I know now, it would have saved me ALOT of pain. :P) but anyway. Now I know. I KNOWWWWW. :D

I've done alot of thinking last week. And I realised. People can be so selfish. Imagine you liked someone. (past tense, mind you.) And then you don't anymore. You've moved on. Isn't it selfish to still want that person to continue liking you, and NOT move on? Its like, asking for a part of that person, that you're not willing to return. Does that make sense? (yeah I have thoughts in my head that I sometimes dunno how to put into simple to understand sentences). Its not only selfish, its pathetic and a teensy-weensy bit SAD. I don't even know how exactly to say it, but I feel strongly about it. :P

AHAHA. Its not often I put such heavy thoughts into this blog. :P Its usually superficial and bimbo-ish. :P This is just my attempt at saying whats on my mind.

If you hate it, go away. Its my blog.

xoxo! :))