365 days :P

I acknowledge this is probably something kinda stupid to blog about. Haha. I just wanted to remember it.. If by the end of me typing this post, it sounds dumb, then I'm probably never gonna publish it for the world to see, lol.

Today. Marks me being single for a whole year. OMG, haha.. a whole year of freedom and a whole year of me learning to love myself, to be by myself and enjoy flirting and not feeling guilty for it. *heh*.

I guess I've never really been serious about this kind of thing. Relationships in general. How can I? I don't believe that anything lasts forever, as in, as beautiful and wonderful something may be for a moment, in a breath it can be ripped away from you, so I know I should never take it too seriously unless I want to get hurt and have my heart broken to pieces.

When I say I like someone, I usually don't really mean it. Not completely. I set up barriers because I never want anyone to come too close. Because it will hurt when he goes. It will.

So anyway. Single for a whole year, because I have not found somebody whom I can truly and sincerely say, I really like. I won't even say love because thats too deep for me. Sure there have been false alarms *cough* as in people who have come close, but then I never did end up with anyone. I was just talking to Sarah about this same topic the other day, haha.

I've watched as my friends get together, break up, get together again, break up again, and it seems so exhausting, putting myself through that is just unthinkable.

I'll probably remain single for awhile. I choose to. Don't be surprised if a year from now, I publish another blog entry marking my 2nd year of singledom. :P

Just a couple of days ago Gebby was talking about love and really I didn't expect it, but what she said did stick with me. She was saying that God made somebody for everybody. And it really resonated with me in a sense, I really believe that exact same thing. I OBVIOUSLY have not found him yet but really I'm not in a rush. He's out there somewhere! God know where, but still. :P

Right now I can say there's nobody whom I really feel anything for. Its just that I can never really be sure whether its real or not.

I know what I'm worth. And I know I deserve better. No more hoping and praying for something that I'll never get because that just means disappointing myself. (PS not referring to anything, by the way. Just saying. :P)

Okay I'm gonna stop typing, as I'm in serious danger of spilling my heart out and making everybody puke at the intensity of it all. :P

xoxo karen