Forgive, just don't forget. :P

Today was a somewhat busy day, and i'm exhausted. :( All the preparations i've had to do before leaving to KL. The huge packet of forms and instructions and contracts that I received from JPA regarding my scholarship sits in a corner, all photocopied and all unread. :P Not that I didn't try or anything, its just that I got very confused and blur trying to read it all. And apparently I'm not the only one. :D My friend and soon-to-be apartment and room mate is having trouble reading and understanding the huge packet, too. :D its goooood to know i'm not alone in all this. :)

I actually LEARNT something today! I learnt.. drum roll please.. to forgive. :D that's right.. i think i'm growing up! :D hmm.. what i've been trying to do lately, before i leave, is pretty much to tie up loose ends and apologize to anyone i've hurt lately or have been ignoring lately. I wanna have peace of mind when i'm in KL.. And i've been doing just that.. (apologized to Jeremy a couple of days ago :P lol) and today I finally talked to Adam. Well, through text message anyways. I can't bring myself to talk to him face to face, not just yet anyway. I havent spoken to him since February, since our whole big "incident". ahem. and all this time, I havent really thought about him or anything. I've been known to say "I wanna step on him with sharp, high heels." yes, that bad. :D

but seriously. Today I finally allowed myself to let go of all the pain and hurt I've been holding on for these couple of months. And it feels good. Really. I once read somewhere, that eventually you realise that you have to let go of grudges, because they just hurt. Speaking from experience, i finally know exactly how true this is. I've been through it, and while it sucks to be hurt by someone you trusted, letting it go is much better. It's not saying that what he did was okay. It's simply saying that I'm forgiving and forgetting.

I read in 5 People You Meet In Heaven (by Mitch Albom) that forgiveness was one of the things the main character, Eddie had to learn when he got to heaven. That by forgiving, you release all the anger and hatred you've been holding for way too long. Til today, that book is still one of my favourites. And I believe its something we must all learn.

When he texted me today, Adam asked me if I still hated him. And I could honestly answer him, "No." :)

xoxo karen