helppppp D:

I just came home from a kinda crazy birthday party involving water, tea, coffee, cake and cola all in one bucket and poured all over the unfortunate birthday girl. :D (and i was kinda sorta involved. :P) HAHA but anyways.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KOGILA!

I know you don't read this but anyways I love youu I hope you enjoyed it, xoxo :)

I was gonna upload a pic but seriously the internet is bugging the hell n outta me, so freaking slow. And I'm typing in the dark, also a source of annoyance cos I make horrible typos. :p

Anyways. Mid sem's over, thank God. I studied like hell beforehand, made a couple of careless mistakes, so careless I wanna kick myself. But I guess thats how you learn right. :) uisehmannn. :P HAHA.

Bio is starting to seem so interesting cause well, I'm gonna be a doctor anyways. Chemistry is FINALLY starting to make sense! And Physics, I'm finally beginning to realise how it's involved in EVERYTHING around us. OH MY GOD it has finally happened, I've become a nerd. No longer a bimbo-slash-nerd, but a full time nerd! (bimbo went away when I chopped off my hair and its growing so soon I wont be Rusty anymore, just karen. :P)

All this while its been about exams and memorising without actually caring what I was reading about. Now for the first time I'm beginning to realise its about knowledge, its about understanding why and how things happen. I wish I realised this earlier, it would have made high school and the past year of college a whole lot more fun. Its STILL about exams, of course, but then my dad was right, you have to love something to be able to do well in it.

Oh and that reminds me, AS results day is looming closer and closer, and I'm scared. Like I know I prayed and did my best, and God is gonna take care of everything else, but I can't help it. Its my future. Everything depends on that exam and the one in 3 months time.

The burden is seriously so overwhelming at times. I pray to God for strength because I really can't do this alone. I'm scared, I'm lacking confidence, and I freeze in exam halls. The simplest thing becomes an issue cause I constantly question what I remembered. example physics today, gravitational field strength formula also can forget. for the record, g=GM/r2. :D I just thought it would be more complicated than that. :P

Am starting to ramble. I'm often like this when anxious or scared or nervous. :P

xoxo karen.